Seduction And Suicide
by Sakura Barton
Summary: Sex, Seduction, Betrayl. All the things we hold dear to our hearts. (Chapter 5 up)
1. Dear Diary

It's been two years since the day we defeated Galaxia. Notice I say we, not I.  
  
So many people talk about how "Sailor Moon" defeated Galaxia. But everyone knows I couldn't have done it with out my fellow sailor scouts. But when I try and tell people that, they just say im being too humble. But it's true. They gave me the hope I needed.  
  
So what is hope? Hope is knowing that there's someone to go back to in the end when no one else is there. Hope is the voice that calls, "Moon Crystal Power Make Up!". Hope is the love felt in every kiss between your other self and you. The feeling that one kiss changes the rest of your life. The feeling that is so strong you can literally feel a hand clenching your heart, begging it not to slip away. Hope is that hand that clutches it. Maybe is the hand lets go, or lets loose even a little, that feeling will seep through the fingers and leak out into severe nothingness.  
  
Which brings me to the opposite of hope. Depression. Depression is after the feeling seeps out of your heart. Or maybe it is forced out. When you see your other half with someone else. Or maybe when you see them not smile at you when you pass.  
  
Now heartbreak is usually the cause of depression. Heartbreak is seeing the one you would give your life for, giving their life for someone else.  
  
And that is what my eyes have seen.  
  
And that is why I cannot go on living. That is why this will be my last journal entry.  
  
So, I leave my locket that played our song. And I leave everything I ever used to save the universe with. Now that all of fate which we knew would happen has happened, its time to leave this world and get ready for the next.  
  
Thank you so very much mother for saving my life, but now it is time for me to end it. I saved earth quite a few times, so I hope you know your own death was not in vain. Thank you for the gift of life you gave Mamoru and my senshi. We all appreciated it.  
  
Goodbye Moon, world, and universe. May every living thing have the strength to go on celebrating life, even after its queen is dead. 


	2. Seduction

Mamoru folded up the piece of paper he had been reading over and over again. He turned it around. Flipped it over. Shoved it in his pocket.  
  
"God damn why was I so stupid?"  
  
He had lost her. The one person that had ever meant anything to him. She was everybody to his nobody existence. And now he had given her up. Again, after being a somebody he was left stranded a nobody.  
  
But we all make stupid mistakes don't we? Aren't we all allowed to make stupid mistakes?  
  
Somebody else was the stupid mistake he committed. Her sex appeal was overwhelming, he had to admit, but he shouldn't have been so stupid to fall for it.  
  
But she was supposed to be Usagi's best friend. She wasn't supposed to let him fall for her. She wasn't supposed to fall for him. None of this was suppose to happen.  
  
And now he reread the diary entry. It was his fault. Usagi had left during the night, and she had left for good. She decided she would want to die in peace, in her own place. No one knew where this place was, or why she would want to be anywhere but Crystal Tokyo when she left. All of the senshi were out searching for their queen. Mamoru stayed behind just incase she were to change her mind and return.  
  
But that's not really why he stayed behind. He knew deep down that she wouldn't return. So why was he waiting?  
  
Truth is, he wasn't waiting. He was sitting there, cloaked in his own misery and didn't have the heart to see her again. Even if she had gone to kill herself, he didn't want to see her. If she were to come back into the doors this minute, he would turn away.  
  
But its not because he didn't - or - doesn't love her, its because he felt so terrible about the whole case. It is his fault she wants to die. It's his fault that this perfect creature, which, mind you, is more full of life than anyone but him will ever know, now doesn't treasure the life he has.  
  
And it's all his fault.  
  
Even if it had to do with-with HER- it was his fault.  
  
Why did he have to fall for that damn seduction?  
  
It's the way the flames casted the shadows on her face. The way her long, raven hair had fell gently down her back when she pulled the ribbon out. The way her curves drove him mad, when all he was at the temple for was to pray for the rain to clear up some before some major floods starting happening.  
  
But he had taken her. And he had taken her right there, at the center of everything holy. The temple. The shrine. A place to worship.  
  
And to think, the only thing he worshipped was her body like the perfect temple it was.  
  
Wait, why was he thinking this again?  
  
This isn't right.  
  
He slapped himself. He hadn't even said her name that night, but his queen was farther from his mind then anyone can imagine. He could have been at mercury palace and her visiting Setsuna. That's how far away his mind was from her.  
  
He remembered the night clearly.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
The door made of willow creaked relentlessly as it was pushed open, awakening the fibers that traveled down its face. A shaded head appeared in the doorway, a few raven strands of hair framing the face, and deep, purple eyes gazing out at him.  
  
"Hi Mamoru. Is there something I can do for you?"  
  
"Yes, I was hoping to consult the fire with a prayer."  
  
"Okay, come in."  
  
The burnt wood door opened more, giving even more moans of rebellion. Mamoru's boot clicked the equally willow floor beneath him. He brushed off the dust from his cape, and leaned his marble staff against a wall. She closed the door slowly behind him, and took a few steps foreword.  
  
"Follow me."  
  
She jingled her keys as they walked, trying to find the one that went into the fire room. Mamoru followed behind her, as instructed, with every step adding another deep "click" to the aging wood beneath him. She made no noise when she walked. Her footsteps were light and easy. His were as if he carried the world on his shoulders.  
  
Another creak of protest as she opened the door to the room with the fire. There were two purple pillows on the floor in front of the fire. It looked as if they had just been set out. They seemed to be the only two things in the room that wasn't covered in dust.  
  
"Were you expecting me?"  
  
"I saw you walking up the stairs in the fire."  
  
"Oh. Yes, I forgot you can do that."  
  
She nodded.  
  
"So, do you know if the rain will clear up?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Can you tell me?"  
  
"Im not allowed to say what I can see. For a true seer does not reveal straight foreword."  
  
"So?"  
  
"All I can say is that, 'Though some tragedies are meant to happen, others which seem they will, will not, and that which is seemingly not, will'"  
  
He sighed in relief. So that which is expected will not happen, and something unexpected will. Maybe the floods wont come, and something will benefit him.  
  
"Well, I think I will still pray to the gods. Just incase"  
  
She nodded again.  
  
He bowed his head and lowered his eyes. He did not close them, just lowered. Stared at the ground. He didn't like praying to a fire. He would rather speak with the gods himself, but his queen said it would only be right to come to this old shrine where the six of them would meet, and then on later the nine of them. This meeting place was considered holy by she whom he loved.  
  
He glanced up at the other human in the room. She had her back turned to him. Her hands were up messing with the messy bun she had placed on top of her head, which held her hair back.  
  
Two fingers grabbed the end of the ribbon. She started to slowly pull it. Her hair began cascading down her back. The way the light waves hit her hair made some areas appear to shine purple.  
  
Her hair rolled down to the small of her back in slow motion. Damn those females with layered hair. One section right after the other. And she leaned to the side slightly to stretch her spine. Making her hair move more.  
  
She stood up slowly, her back still to him. He had raised his head, watching her every move like a hawk watching its final supper. Great determination. He licked his lips.  
  
Her head began to turn to look at him, he quickly, yet gently tucked his chin back to his chest and folded his hands, squeezing his eyes tighter. She smiled, knowing what she was doing to him.  
  
In her opinion, if it was going to happen anyway, as she knew it would, she might as well make the best out of it. She turned back around.  
  
"Mamoru-san, would you mind if I changed really fast? I have ash and soot all over my robes, and I hate to perform a ceremony in rags."  
  
She had used san. Every hair on his neck had stood up, and she had only said it innocently, as she would have said anything else.  
  
"Uhm, sure, go ahead."  
  
"Thanks, but I can't leave the room while someone is praying at the fire, it disturbs the ki energy flow of everything. So ill have to change in here. Promise you wont look?"  
  
"No problem."  
  
"I appreciate it."  
  
What a fruitless promise. Both grown adults knew that there was no point in saying he wouldn't look. He would. He was a man. That said everything.  
  
He opened his eyes and turned his head to stare at her again. Her back was still to him. She shifted a little to her right foot, balancing her weight. One perfectly shaded arm slinked out from the white cotton top that embraced her loosely. She then used it to push the other side down. Wiggling a little, she pushed the white cotton robe down to touch the red skirt-like robe that encircled her waist. The long, raven hair was now touching bare skin. Her shoulders shot up a little, shivering for a moment at the cold she was facing, then slowly relaxing again, reminding themselves of the warm fire that was behind.  
  
Mamoru stopped breathing. Even just what little parts of her back he could see were gorgeous. Her skin was perfectly colored, her back muscles perfectly toned, and when she turned to a diagonal for a second to undo the clasp that held the bottom half of her robes on, he could see her perfectly curved breasts. He reminded himself to breathe.  
  
'Close your eyes Mamoru.' He tried to tell himself.  
  
This, also, was fruitless.  
  
Her arms pushed, ever so slowly, down her robes completely. One dainty foot stepped out onto the willow floor, which, as usual, gave its sigh of resistance.  
  
She turned her head slowly, making eye contact with Mamoru. They both knew now that he was interested. The problem was, was she?  
  
She wouldn't just play games though. Right? She wouldn't be so seductive and not let him touch her.  
  
He rose to his feet. She turned around slowly, barely trying to cover up all that she now submitted to the willingness of roaming eyes.  
  
He took a step foreword. Their eyes made contact, not breaking it this time. She took a step foreword.  
  
Little to his knowledge, this was something she had wanted since they met. Since day one. She had wanted him. Her body had craved. And she also knew she would have him tonight. It was fated so.  
  
He stared at her, not knowing what to do. Not knowing how to move. Not knowing how to react. Not knowing how she wanted him to react.  
  
"You promised you wouldn't look" she whispered.  
  
"You knew I would"  
  
"What if I did?"  
  
"Then you were asking for this"  
  
He leaned foreword and pressed his lips onto hers forcefully. Her hands started to roam everything that covered him. Undoing every clasp one by one that led down to the bottom of his shirt. Finishing that task, she slid her hands over his bare chest and up to the sleeves, slowly she slid his sleeves down, caressing every muscle on her way. His body trembled at the agonizing pleasure of her touch. His shirt dropped to the floor behind them.  
  
Her fingers ran down his chest again lightly, stopping to circle his belly button. With every touch, their kisses grew more frantic, more needing. Her fingers toyed with the button to his pants. She slowly pulled down his zipper. His pants fell to the floor also.  
  
Her thumbs trailed around his waistband, making every muscle in his stomach tense and then relax. Her very touch made his entire body contract before fitting to her finger.  
  
Stopping her thumbs on the side of his waist and deciding to not torture him anymore, she slid down his boxers with her hands. He stepped his feet out of his boxers and pants, and they walked towards the wall. Her hands found her way around his neck, followed by her arms. His hands found themselves all over her. Roaming the new territory he longed to be all over at once. His body pinned hers to the wall.  
  
His mouth found her jawbone and neck, and started placing random kisses down it. His hands massaged her breasts. She tilted her head back against the wall, eyes squeezed tight, mouth open. Her breaths grew heavier by the minute. So did his.  
  
He trailed his kisses lower. He kissed all the way around her breasts, neglecting her nipples and licking down to her belly button, where he drew circles, making her tense up. He kissed lower.  
  
Getting ready on his knees, he picked up one of her legs and placed it on his shoulders. He leaned in and started kissing around her thighs. She whined and tilted herself foreword, as if to say, "stop teasing, just get on with it", but get on with it in a good way.  
  
~*~  
  
And that night he had her. Over and over again he had her. Both of them had such great stamina they kept at it.  
  
~*~  
  
The sun was rising through the windows in the holy room, casting beams of light into the willow made room, making spirits burst a flame, and glowing ashes loose their power. There was Mamoru and his priestess. His arms around her, her body on top of his. Lying on the two large pillows, in front of the dead fire. They both breathed at a slow, fixed rate. Their naked skin touched every inch of the other's.  
  
~*~  
  
The early morning fog never bothered Usagi as it had so many other people she knew. She rather enjoyed it. Enjoying things like the morning fog proved that Usagi had grown and matured so much. No longer was she a silly, frivolous, crybaby, she was a queen. A hero. A woman. She carried herself with elegance. Perfect poise. Everything your little girl would want to be, and much, much more.  
  
Seiya had seen her a year ago. On the year anniversary of banishing Galaxia. He had fallen heel head over. It was like they were strangers when they met. His jaw had dropped, and she had just laughed, very quiet and lady like. He had immediately fell to one knee, kissed her hand, and told her how wonderful it was to have her grace his presence again. Mamoru had smiled proudly at what his Usako had become. Everyone was so proud. And the good thing? She still knew when to goof off and have fun. That's what "growing up" really is. It's maturing with style. That's what she had done.  
  
Serenity would have been so proud.  
  
The light taps of her shoes hit the staircase leading up to the temple. She smiled at all of the birds around her sang.  
  
"Im so lucky," she thought to herself, "I have the best husband, the greatest friends, and soon ill even have the worlds most amazing daughter." She and Mamoru had decided it was almost time to start planning for Chibi- Usa. She smiled bigger. She missed the little spirit-ball, and was looking foreword to raising her on her own.  
  
She slowly pushed the creaking willow door open. She knew she didn't have to knock. She had been coming here since she was fourteen after all. Four years. She saw Mamoru's staff lying against the wall.  
  
"Ah, so my assumptions were correct."  
  
She had thought he stayed at the shrine extra late to pray more intently on the well being of his people. He was so caring about them all like that. That's one thing she really loved about him. He cared about everyone.  
  
Her shoes tapped on the hardwood floor, pulsating softly a rhythm of serenity.  
  
She came to the room where the fire was kept. She turned the knob, and pushed open the door to the room.  
  
"Honey, are you still pra-"  
  
She stopped dead in the doorway. Her own staff fell to the ground, creating a loud kink. She gasped. Was it really as it looked? Her best friend and her husband?  
  
Mamoru jerked his eyes opened and sat up, making Rei fall off of him. She made a thud against the ground and sat up herself.  
  
"U. Usako."  
  
"Usagi?!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
He cringed remembering the pained expression on her face that morning. She had trusted him with her life, and what had he done? He had let her down.  
  
He promised he would always protect her. And now he had let her down. Nothing could protect her from the heartbreak that was to follow that dreadful night.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Okay, so I'll say it here. I don't own sailor moon. I wont type that again. You just know now that I don't. that's why I write FAN FICTION. But hey, got to put the disclaimer. Right? Well, this is my first BSSM fanfic, and also my first fanfic with some type of sexual theme. Please don't flame too bad? Let me know how you like it though!  
  
~SB 


	3. Wallows Of Lonliness

Usagi sat facing the rising sun. Tears stained her cheeks. The one person she had put all her faith in had completely torn it all. Alone. Burnt. Betrayed. All of these feelings were rushing into her heart, and the only feeling leaking out? Whatever she had left of hope.  
  
Human beings are nothing without hope. Hope is what gets us to another day. Hope is what gets us up in the morning when everything else has torn down all of our walls of security. When all Usagi's walls of security and comfort had been torn down, Mamoru was always there to open a door and let her into his castle. So why had he permanently closed the drawbridge and locked the gate?  
  
Personally, she was glad no one knew where she was. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to die alone. Isn't that a request worth granting?  
  
Usagi sat on the top level of Tokyo Tower. Why did she choose to die here, of all places? Because this is where she and Mamoru had found out each other's "secret identities". This is where they had learned about their past. This is where they learned that fate willed them to be together.  
  
So, if fate willed them to be together, why has she been pushed away? Why was this so called "destiny" pushing her back out to the wallows of loneliness? At least he had Rei to run back to. At least, when everything had been done, he could still run to her for support. For comfort. For. other things that every man needed.  
  
Damn it, why was this happening to her? What about karma? What had she done to deserve this?  
  
And what about her? Rei. She was supposed to be her best friend. The only one of her senshi that even called her "Usagi" without "chan" or "san". That was supposed to mean they were close. CLOSE. Close friends don't sleep with the other's husband. It just doesn't happen that way. That's totally against the rules.  
  
The sun had finally fully risen. It had been a little over twenty-four hours now since she found them. The twenty-four hours after that, leading to now, had gone by in such a blur. She had ran back to the castle, written in her diary and left it out for Mamoru to see, grabbed a knife from the kitchen, not explaining anything to the kitchen staff, and left. She didn't want him to get home before she left and see her. She didn't want him to see her. She didn't want to see him.  
  
She sniffled, wiping a few tears away. It was time. She raised her knife and looked at the way the sunlight hit it, making it sparkle. How beautiful in instrument of death could be. She closed her eyes. And brought her hand down to her stomach.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Mamoru jerked his eyes open as if on que. He sat up quickly, looking around. Nothing in the room. He looked at his clock. 7:28 AM. He breathed in. he hadn't meant to fall asleep. His hands clenched the sheets as if holding on for dear life. He looked down at them. His knuckles were white. He looked down at his hands and released the cold silk that he clutched. He hands were shaking uncontrollably. Turning them over slowly, he saw blood. Red stained the palm of his hand, and led down to his wrists, where he saw two great scars. Each drawing a line of hate over his barren arm. Hate was such a strong word. But he really did hate himself right now.  
  
She trusted him. She trusted him with all of her, and she never doubted anything he said. If he told her the world would end tomorrow because he saw a premonition, she would believe him. Without a second thought.  
  
She was devoted to him. She never even did so much as to look at another man with interest. When there were balls, or parties, her eyes never wandered. They were glued to his.  
  
Come to think of it, he was devoted with such a passion to her also. Before last night of course. They both held onto each other with their eyes that it was as if they were both treasure hunters, and had both found the rarest jewel in the world. It was the kind of love that people envied. Envied with a great deal of hate. So many people did hate the royal couple. Because they had the kind of love that no one else could even understand. Centuries of love that had surpassed even the changing of the universe.  
  
So what had gone wrong? Temptation. In every fairy tale there is a villain. Rei wasn't the villain. She probably fell prisoner to temptation also. Maybe that's how it all had worked out.  
  
He lied back down in his bed, looking up at the ceiling. This was the first time he had ever been in this bed - their bed - alone. Without her. And now that he was without her, everything was so empty in the room. He noticed how dark the walls were. They were painted black and high glossed, so they shone when any stray strands of light would hit. And the sheets, all of the bedding in fact, were silk. Dark, royal blue silk.  
  
The silk caressed his skin and hung to his every muscle. He ran a hand over his bare chest, breathing in deeply. Releasing, he closed his eyes, and a pinprick of a tear escaped. He was so stupid. And he knew it. Knowledge comes with death's release. He wanted to knowledge of why he had been so stupid. So he tried to kill himself. Besides, he had lost his world. She had been his world and now he had hurt her. If she was dead now, he had killed her. He was a murderer.  
  
He rolled over, placing his head on her pillow. He breathed in her intoxicating scent and remembered all that they had been through. All the memories. Saving the universe. I mean hey, what can bring a couple closer than that?  
  
His whole entire body shook, and he drew his knees to his chest. He clutched her pillow tighter to his face and began crying. The pure lamentation of this act was so much to make anyone miserable. He sobbed. A man wasn't supposed to cry. But who cares now?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
She stirred her tea. Her hair was, once again, up in a messy bun with a few strands framing her face. She shouldn't have done that to Usagi. She knew she shouldn't have. Everything you see in the fire isn't always what will happen. So basically, knowing that, she was the one that caused everything. Now her best friend wanted to die. And Mamoru probably did too. She felt awful. Having ruined two peoples lives.  
  
She sipped her tea and sighed, pulling her robes tighter around her. The morning fog was chilly. She sighed, and could see the breath she exhaled. She lowered her head and closed her eyes. Why had she been so stupid? Goddamn.  
  
She stood slowly and set her tea down. Taking a few steps foreword, she sighed again. She lowered herself and picked up the bamboo stick that sat in front of her. She quickly shot up and swung it at a tree, making all of the birds in it call out and fly away. Then she climbed the tree and sat in the top branches.  
  
She was so stupid.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
There was a knock at the door. "What is it?" Mamoru cried out between sobs, trying to calm himself.  
  
"Lord, may I come in?" he noticed the voice as Artemis. All three cats had remained in human form since the defeat of Galaxia.  
  
"Sure, I guess"  
  
Mamoru didn't even try to straighten himself up. Artemis had become his best friend, and he didn't worry what he thought. He was the only one that he even would allow to enter the room right now.  
  
Artemis pulled out a chair from Usagi's desk and sat in it, staring at Mamoru, who was a mess.  
  
"Your highness, please -"  
  
"Oh cut out the highness shit."  
  
"Sorry, I was trying to be respectful"  
  
"What did you want?"  
  
"Well, I was hoping you could tell me what happened."  
  
And so the story began. Artemis stayed silent and listened to everything Mamoru said. He nodded.  
  
"And then. oh gods Artemis and then she walked in. and she saw us, naked together."  
  
"That's pretty bad."  
  
Mamoru fell back to the bed, and started crying again.  
  
"And now, now ive lost my entire world because of one night."  
  
"But you said Rei told you something that wasn't expected would happen. Right?"  
  
Mamoru nodded into Usagi's pillow.  
  
"Well, maybe she knew about it. Maybe that's what she was talking about."  
  
"But. why wouldn't she try to stop it?"  
  
"Maybe she wanted it to happen. You two did date for quite a while."  
  
Mamoru stayed silent.  
  
"What happened after Usagi left?"  
  
"I sat there for a moment, thinking about everything that had just happened. Rei looked at the floor. Then I just got up, put on my pants, and left."  
  
"And then?"  
  
"I got back here, and she was gone. Her journal was lying on the bed."  
  
"Did you read it?"  
  
"Yeah. the last page was left flipped open to."  
  
"Mind if I see?"  
  
Mamoru pulled back the covers, and reached into his pocket, bringing out the folded, now ratty piece of paper, and handed it to Artemis.  
  
Artemis read through it once. Then he read through it again. He sighed and folded the paper back up, handing it to Mamoru.  
  
"Well, there's only one thing to do."  
  
"What could I possibly do?"  
  
"Look for her."  
  
"Artemis, it's been twenty four hours. She's probably. by now."  
  
"There's no sure evidence about that"  
  
"Well, the senshi are out looking for her right now too."  
  
"Stop making excuses not to see her."  
  
"But what would I say to her?"  
  
"Think about it while you're out looking."  
  
Mamoru blinked a few times, wiping away a few last tears.  
  
"What ever happens, you can't just leave her out there. Ive seen you two together, and the way that you are, you cant just let this end everything."  
  
"But how could she forgive me? Ive done the unspeakable."  
  
"You have to try."  
  
Mamoru nodded once again, and stood up, gathering clothes from random places around the room.  
  
"Artemis?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Will you help me?"  
  
"Look for her?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"No. I cant do that."  
  
"But what if I don't find her?"  
  
"I think you know where she is."  
  
"Do you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then what makes you so sure that I know?"  
  
"Because your souls are connected."  
  
Mamoru understood and nodded again, heading out.  
  
"Artemis?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Thanks."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
There. That's about 2000 words. That's going to be my goal for each chapter. 2000 words. Not counting the first journal entry though, that was like, separate. Anyway, I want to thank the five people I woke up to having reviews to read.  
  
Balticbard - THANKS^_^! Im going to read your stories soon. I promise!  
  
Cat - yes, im sure I don't really like Mamoru that much either. I kinda do though. I haven't decided yet.  
  
Sed - im sorry, I really cant say what the pairing will be yet. That would give away the entire story. I do hope you'll keep reading though, I would hate to loose one of my few precious readers. Besides, to tell you the truth, I don't know myself how this story is going to go. I have a few ideas, but those usually change when I get in front of the keyboard. Sorry!  
  
And Marni - * YOU * decide if Rei is regretful. Its your choice, you being the reader, to decide how you think the characters are acting.  
  
AND AN EXTRA SPECIAL THANK YOU TO MARY ANNE! Im so glad someone got into my story enough to rant, so thank you so much for ranting, and don't apologize for it! I appreciate it a lot.  
  
I hope you all keep up with the story! Having readers inspires me to write more!  
  
~*~ * clears throat and gets announcerish voice *  
  
Is Usagi dead? Will Mamoru find her body first? What will Rei do out off guilt? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ONNNNNNN.. SEDUCTION AND SUICIDE!!  
  
~SB * stay tuned^_^ * 


	4. The Fight

She closed her eyes and drew in her breath. The knife came down quicker.  
  
But, of course, right before it hit her stomach, she felt it pull out of her hand.  
  
~*~ Now I couldn't just go kill off the main character now could I? Were you honestly expecting it?  
  
Anyway, back on with it. ~*~  
  
She didn't even open her eyes. She didn't have to to know who was in front of her. She leaned foreword crying, and felt strong arms embrace her. She cried on Seiya, who ran his fingers through her hair saying things like "Shh princess." and "it'll be alright.im here."  
  
So, how did Seiya know? Simple. But we'll get to that later.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Mamoru walked. No, not walked, ran. He ran as fast as two feet could carry anyone. Artemis was right, he DID know where she was. Where else could she be? Tokyo Tower was the one place that they had called "their place". It was a special thing for them to go together.  
  
He got in and placed a hand against the wall, bracing himself.  
  
"Gods Usako.please don't have done it yet..."  
  
He pressed the button for the top viewing level. Sighing, he looked out the glass and remembered his first "real" conversation with her. Where he had promised not to call her mean names anymore. From that fateful day.  
  
BING *  
  
The doors opened.  
  
Mamoru stepped out. What he said didn't please him very much.  
  
Rage filled his body. He comes all the way up here to save her, and here she is crying the arms of another man?  
  
Usagi sat up and looked Seiya in the eye, wiping a few tears away. He wiped a stray one away also.  
  
"You going to be okay princess?"  
  
Mamoru tightened his fists. He took a few steps foreword.  
  
"Seiya" he said.  
  
Seiya looked up, startled. Mamoru looked quite angry in his opinion. Usagi turned around and stared at him horrifically. She slumped behind Seiya, who held his arm out, as if to protect her. Seiya growled.  
  
"Mamoru" he responded back.  
  
Both of them cut their eyes so that they were both giving, and receiving, the biggest death glare anyone could ever imagine. Seiya clenched his fists also. Mamoru went red in the face, and it seemed as if steam were about to come out of his ears.  
  
Mamoru took a step foreword. Usagi's heart raced.  
  
Seiya frowned. "Don't turn this into something"  
  
"I believe you're the one who came to my woman"  
  
"YOUR woman?!"  
  
"You heard me"  
  
"Im sorry, you already took someone else and made her your woman."  
  
"Shut up"  
  
"Oh no, I think I'll go on. Did you know im the one who removed the knife FROM her hand, before it entered, from 'your woman' 's stomach?"  
  
Mamoru stared, unable to speak.  
  
"Yeah, that's right Mr. High and Mighty. I saved your woman's life. I DESERVE a thank you."  
  
Mamoru growled at being shown up.  
  
"AND, I believe that YOU are the one who made her want to kill herself. You. Are. A. Potential. Murderer. So, I saved your ass on that one. I made you not become a murderer. Again you should thank me."  
  
Mamoru reached to his side for his sword and drew it.  
  
Seiya raised an eyebrow. "So that's how you want to play Chiba? I could take you on any day. Just because you broke a promise to me. You promised you would take good care of her. And you didn't."  
  
Mamoru slammed himself foreword with all the power he had. Seiya drew the knife Usagi tried to cut herself with, and prepared to defend himself.  
  
Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. Mamoru yelled "Bastard", and Seiya just made some kind of "aah!" noise. Usagi stood and forced herself in between the two men.  
  
And the knife, sword, and Usagi's body connected. There was a faint "ugh", but she didn't fall. She stood there staring into Mamoru's eyes as blood trickled down from the corner of her mouth.  
  
"I.I'll always love you Mamo-chan."  
  
Mamoru stood there for a moment, staring into her eyes as well.  
  
What had he done.?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Seiya and Yaten sat drinking coffee. Seiya looked terrible. Sleep had failed him, since that day. Yaten patted him on the shoulder.  
  
"It'll be okay.she'll be fine."  
  
"How can you say that? Do you suddenly posses some ability to see the future?"  
  
He stood up in a fit of anger and walked out of the room.  
  
Following his instinct, or maybe habit, Seiya walked to his room.  
  
The door clicked and he entered a room full of pink. Kind of like an energy. Usagi lay on a bed, and she was the one emitting this light. Or at least, that's what it seemed to be. He sighed and sat down next to her. The reason why he hadn't been sleeping was because he had been too busy giving her all of his excess energy, leaving him only the dregs on which to survive on. He prayed she would wake up someday.  
  
He laid his head down next to her and silently cried. Why had he trusted Mamoru with this princess? What had he done to even deserve him to let him stay with her? Hadn't he always said Mamoru was a bad boyfriend anyway?  
  
People should have listened to him.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Mamoru lied with his head on Rei's lap. She stroked his hair gently. He sighed.  
  
"Do you still think of her?"  
  
"No."  
  
"You lie."  
  
Mamoru reached a hand up and stroked Rei's cheek. She smiled down at him.  
  
"You're the only one in my life now, Rei. I love you"  
  
"But she's only been gone 6 months."  
  
"It doesn't matter. Fate brought you and I together."  
  
"But...Mamo-chan.she's dead..."  
  
"It doesn't matter anymore"  
  
Rei frowned.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
Mamoru leaned up and kissed her, lightly, but passionately. He pulled away and smiled at her.  
  
"Im positive."  
  
"Do you love me?"  
  
"More than you know"  
  
"How much then?"  
  
"More than the sun envies the moon"  
  
He had to say moon didn't he?  
  
Rei frowned again and wrapped her fingers in his hair.  
  
"Mamo-chan?"  
  
"Yes love?"  
  
"Promise you'll never do to me what you did to her?"  
  
"Promise"  
  
Mamoru sat up and leaned into her, pressing his chest against hers. They kissed passionately, and he laid her down. Her hands ran up and down his bare chest.  
  
The sunset had its own soundtrack of moans that day. Just like so many other days.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Seiya opened his eyes and sat up. He had fallen asleep. Energy was so hard to keep when transferring it to another. He smiled at Usagi and squeezed her hand a little.  
  
But then something went terribly wrong.  
  
The pink glow stopped.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Woohoo! Cliffhanger! If I don't get my reviews up to twenty, im not writing anymore.  
  
BUT! Thank you EVERYONE who reviewed!!!!! I love you all^_^  
  
And I know its not 2000 words this chapter. But I wanted a cliffhanger. Ill make up for it next chapter. I PROMISE. Because next chapter is gonna be a really big deal.  
  
~SB 


	5. Survive

Seiya's cold sweat dripped down and curled under his chin. His heart almost completely stopped. He didn't blink. He stared at Usagi. She had stopped moving. Her chest no longer rhythmically ascended and descended. He gasped deeply, and closed his eyelids together. He squeezed her hand. But words escaped him.  
  
His parched mouth gaped open. "U." was all he could get out. Taiki and Yaten ran to the door, but both men froze in the doorway, as if an invisible wall had withheld them.  
  
And then came a yell so deep it was as if Seiya's soul was the one contorting itself to make such a wretched noise. One complete thing could be made out from the misery.  
  
"Usagi!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Mamoru's eyes jerked open, and he wiped sweat from his brow. Sitting up, he breathed in a deep sigh and looked out the window, towards the early morning sun.  
  
Newborn sunrays spilled into the room through the large, uncovered window. A slight breeze blew into the temple's master bedroom, bringing in the scent of fresh morning dew and lilacs.  
  
The king of earth looked to his right and saw Rei peacefully sleeping. Her chest gently lifted and lowered. Raven strands of hair were thrown roughly all over the bed. The pure white sheets covered her delicate skin from the waist down. Mamoru gazed at her beauty, her perfect body shape, and her wonderful simplicity Usagi never had.  
  
But, why was Usagi coming into the picture?  
  
He sighed and slid out from under the sheets. The willow floor gave its constant creak of weakness. Mamoru looked down at his feet.  
  
"I still don't understand how I could have done that to her." He thought. Sure, he had told Rei he loved her. And maybe he had meant it. But there was always the ghost of Usagi to haunt his conscience. And his heart.  
  
He slowly closed the bedroom door behind him and walked down the hallway. He noticed more now the way the floor moaned when his foot trod upon it.  
  
Stepping outside, the moist ground molded to his bare feet. It had certainly been different now that he was spending most of his time at the shrine with Rei. Things were much more relaxed than at the castle. But, things we also a lot more rudimentary. Like the way they cooked for themselves when they were hungry. No servants. No hidden passageways. No stairwells leading up to endless towers that could carry you to the sun. Better yet, to the moon.  
  
So, who had the kingdom been left in the hands of? Why, the senshi and his generals of course. With there being four men and three women, there had only been love triangles and fights broken out. But Mamoru found it rather hilarious. Until two of them had fallen in love. Then the king's heart ached.  
  
Though he hated to admit it, there was a certain void now that Usagi was gone. Like a major part of his life was missing. He felt as if he was, in fact, happy with Rei. But there was something about the way the rainy days made them both melancholy, as to where Usagi's spirits were always they're highest. That had always brought his mood up.  
  
He sighed and sat down on the front porch of the shrine, facing the rising sun. The gods knew he missed Usagi. Now he was just living with his mistake. Quite literally. But, deep in the cold stone heart of his, he admitted needing her back. And missing her more than life itself. This was true love he felt for her. And he had just made a mistake. That's all that had happened.  
  
But oh, what a stupid mistake. He never treated her the way he meant to. He never told her he loved her enough.  
  
Oh, my Naked eyes I should have kept you I should have tried I should have been a wiser kind of guy I miss you  
  
Mamoru stood up and picked up the bamboo stick that seemed to always lie around the premises. He had seen Rei practice with it much. In his opinion, what she did didn't look that hard. He frowned remembering seeing Seiya comforting Usagi like he did.  
  
Making a quick, deadly turn to the left, he flung the stick with all of his might, and found delight in the 'whooshing' noise it made.  
  
Give me wings Give me space Give me money for a change of face Those noisy rooms and passion pants I loved you  
  
He made his little attack move he had made up a few more times, before turning too fast and falling into the earth that held him up. Sighing frustrated, he sat with his elbow on his knee looking back at the almost fully seen sun. the sun seemed to mock him, how it wouldn't show its entire face. Kind of like the way he wouldn't show his entire heart. All of his feelings.  
  
Where's the morning in my life? Where's the sense in staying right? Who said 'time is on my side'? I've got ears and eyes and nothing in my life But I'll survive your naked eyes I'll survive  
  
"Usako." he murmured, looking up at the sky. He knew within his heart that she must still be miserable. She was probably at Seiya's planet. Seiya may have been taking care of her though. maybe he was being the husband figure Mamoru never could have been.  
  
You alone across the floor You and me and nothing more You're the great mistake I never made I never lied to you, I hated when you lied But I'll survive your naked eyes I'll survive  
  
Slowly standing up, Mamoru gave another sigh and turned towards the house. Rei was standing in the doorway and smiling at him.  
  
The good thing about Rei was that she loved him. She truly did. With all of her heart and soul she loved him, but, she knew, deep down, that he didn't love her. She knew inside that Usagi was the only one he could ever dedicate himself to.  
  
That's why she had decided to let him go.  
  
"Mamo-chan."  
  
He winced. Only his Usako could call him that. Now he felt as if his age long tradition had been walked on. He frowned deeply to himself and smiled at her.  
  
"Yes, Rei?"  
  
"Lets talk"  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Just come inside and have some tea."  
  
His heart turned over in its spot. He adverted his gaze. He knew what was coming, and he didn't know what he was going to do once she left him. He would be completely alone.  
  
Loneliness is the one thing that Chiba Mamoru feared more than anything else. Ever since he was a child and his parents left him alone.sure, he didn't remember them, or even what they looked like. He just remembered the loneliness. And being alone again scared him.  
  
Every step towards the shrine was more painful. Every inch his feet were heavier. It was as if he was walking underwater, with weights on his feet.  
  
The willow door didn't even creak. Its moans were suppressed by the agonizing way Mamoru willed them to stay silent. Rei sat with her back to him, dressed in just a thin robe.  
  
He slowly closed the door and the boards moaned despite him. Rei turned her head around. Even though the news she was about to share with him was unpleasant, she still gave him a smile.  
  
"Have a seat"  
  
Mamoru slowly pulled out a chair from under the table and sat down in it. He kept his gaze intently on her. She stared down at her tea, as if she wished she could dive into it and never return. An awkward silence rested on their shoulders, so strong it could fall upon deaf ears.  
  
Rei's eyes met Mamoru's, and he looked away. She took a deep breath and began.  
  
"Mamoru. what im about to say is going to hurt you. I know it will. So please bear with me."  
  
He picked up the cup of tea that sat in front of him and sipped it. His eyes moved up and met hers. He sighed.  
  
"I know what your about to say, don't waste your time or mine. I have to find her."  
  
"She's dead"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Makoto, Minako, Ami, and the generals all stopped eating and dropped their forks. Clinks were heard across the great hall, echoing from side to side. Artemis, Luna, and Diana came running in.  
  
"Senshi!"  
  
The seven nodded to the two adults and all of them ran out of the palace doors.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Well.I tried to make the quality better since I got fussed at for that. SORRY IT WAS BAD BEFORE.  
  
Thanks to everyone who was all nice^_^ I love you!  
  
And I will NOT write the story in English names. Ive never written a story using Serena and Darien. I will never. Because the English sailor moon is so incredibly stupid and different then the original.  
  
Usagi- Sailor Moon Mamoru- Tuxedo Kamen Minako- Sailor Venus Makoto- Sailor Jupiter Ami- Sailor Mercury Rei- Sailor Mars * since someone wanted a translation *  
  
and the song is Survive by David Bowie. Its really pretty. Go download it.  
  
~SB 


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